they get obsessed with
creating psuedo senses
of belongingness, togetherness,
unity and whatever the crap.
in truth,
anywhere out of home, and where
i am disallowed from being alone,
is a strain to the spirit.
the togetherness is never really
genuine,
i know it tends to be
the spur of the moment.
they may not be bad,
but they are certainly not comfortable.
it is ridiculous when i look
back at the countless times
that i was expected
to pretend to want to design
opportunities for such disillusioning of
fellow humanbeans
so that adults could be happy.
schools like to indulge in these things,
which is not surprising
since they tend to be governed by
those happy, perfect elites.
i cant really manage these
sorts of pseudo emotions
anymore.
these days ive lost
the will to laugh at
every damn thing (98% of which
are entirely not funny),
engage in distasteful flirting,
or conduct
msn chats without the urgent
need to appear offline etc.
all these socialising
are necessary but tiresome.
they are not hateful
but the more attractive alternative
is always to sit at home to
watch a good movie.
i guess
i am a loser because
i am socially awkward but i
want to act like i am not.
despise me!
11:53 PM